(Picture by Luis Castillo)
As a millennial and elder emo, I am part of the high percentage of people who have dealt with depression all their lives. For me, I am not really public with this (until now) about the unhealthy ways I've dealt with it. I would binge drink, smoke more weed, or even just try to channel it by making jokes all the time about it.....I still do.
Lately, I've been trying to create healthy habits on how I'm channeling my depression into something more positive. If you have been following my writing, I have been writing a lot more, and will be writing my first novel this year. After I injured my knee a few months back, it has been a good getaway for myself to just create a new world through my writing.
Another factor of my depression have always been about money. When I was coaching jiu-jitsu back in Albuquerque, the biggest factor of my depression was always income. Being in debt, trying to find side gigs to make quick cash, or even just trying to make this "dream" come true to make a living off of the art. Don't get me wrong, I love jiu-jitsu and I'm still passionate about it, but it's like a drug. The deeper you get into it, the thing that helped you escape reality can be the thing that hurts you if you don't control yourself. I couldn't find the healthy balance.
As much as I can ramble about that, the history of my depression started when I was 12 years old when I moved to Puerto Rico. It was the first time where I felt that I didn't belong. Years and years pass by and I struggle with my existence to this day. Thankfully I'll be getting therapy soon (Odin bless jobs with benefits), and finding ways to cope with my depression through writing, training for competition, and coaching.
If you are having trouble with your mental health, please reach out.
Or if things get a little too serious, please call or text 988